I just received notice that our dossier was sent to Ethiopia today! Oh, it has been a long time since I've let myself get this excited!! I am SOOOO doing the Happy Dance right now! :)
According to the email from our agency, we are now "officially waiting to be matched." It's about a 6 month wait for a referral.
My insides feel like all my Irish ancestors are doing a jig with me. :)
******************************************************************
Update: I just tracked the package, and it actually was mailed yesterday. It is now in Leipzig, Germany!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Waiting to Wait
On Monday (two days ago) we got a postcard from the carrier service in Washington D.C. letting us know that our documents had gone through the authentication process and were being sent back to our agency. So we're another step closer to having our dossier sent overseas and starting The Big Wait for a referral. :)
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
It's Done!
Last Saturday we got our Immigration approval in the mail. Whoohoo!!! So we planned to get all our documents notarized on Monday at John's office and then mail out the docs that needed state certification. Well, Sunday night we started thinking that the Secretary of State office was just up the road in Concord (50 minutes away) and since I had nothing else to do after J got out of school...
So, Monday morning I took J to school; went home and gathered documents + books, crayons, construction paper, and matchbox cars; took E to gymnastics; went to John's office to get everything notarized; picked up J from school; drove to the Capital Building in Concord and got two documents state certified; drove back to Nashua to the Fed Ex/Kinkos and copied everything; then Fed Exed the whole package to the agency.
Today I got online to track our package thinking it would be fun to see where in the midwest it was since I had paid for 2-day delivery (overnight would have run almost $100!!!), and was blown away to see that it was delivered to the agency today!
Now the agency sends the two documents that were state certified to the Ethiopian Consulate in D.C. to be authenticated. While they are out, the agency checks over the rest of our dossier to make sure everything is good to go. They'll notify us if anything needs to be redone. If everything is ok, as soon as the docs come back from being authenticated, they will ship our dossier to Ethiopia. They even give us the tracking number so we can watch it's progress across the globe. :)
Then the Big Wait begins!
So, Monday morning I took J to school; went home and gathered documents + books, crayons, construction paper, and matchbox cars; took E to gymnastics; went to John's office to get everything notarized; picked up J from school; drove to the Capital Building in Concord and got two documents state certified; drove back to Nashua to the Fed Ex/Kinkos and copied everything; then Fed Exed the whole package to the agency.
Today I got online to track our package thinking it would be fun to see where in the midwest it was since I had paid for 2-day delivery (overnight would have run almost $100!!!), and was blown away to see that it was delivered to the agency today!
Now the agency sends the two documents that were state certified to the Ethiopian Consulate in D.C. to be authenticated. While they are out, the agency checks over the rest of our dossier to make sure everything is good to go. They'll notify us if anything needs to be redone. If everything is ok, as soon as the docs come back from being authenticated, they will ship our dossier to Ethiopia. They even give us the tracking number so we can watch it's progress across the globe. :)
Then the Big Wait begins!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Gray Skies are Gonna Clear Up...
Name that tune! :)
Today was some day. I went to the dentist because my jaw hurts so bad when I chew that I've been living on SlimFast, broth, and peanut butter on a spoon for two days. Anyone surprised that the cause is that I've been clenching my teeth for the last couple months? (It's not just the adoption stuff -- there's some other drama going on with people very close to me.) But the good news is that now that I know what's going on, I can stay conscious of it and stop doing it, and do some things to heal it. And, I found a great new dentist. :)
Even better news... when I got home our home study was in the mailbox! Whoohoo!!! So tomorrow that will be mailed to USCIS with supporting documents. It took about a week to get our Vietnam approval once the correct documents were sent, so if everything goes smoothly we'll have our USCIS approval for Ethiopia late next week. Then we take a huge stack of documents to be notarized (there is a notary at John's work that has been super nice about helping us out with this). THEN, two documents get sent to the Secretary of State to be State Certified, which should only take a week, and then we can send in our dossier!!!
On the Vietnam front -- the negotiations have been postponed. No word on a new date for talks to begin. Thank God we decided six months ago to pursue a concurrent adoption in Ethiopia! It's taken me that six months to let go of Vietnam. Not that I don't still get waves of emotion when I read new information about what's going on with it, but the waves are much quicker and shallower than they used to be. I really don't think Vietnam will open back up for at least a year, and really, that would probably be best for us. We'll have time to complete our Ethiopia adoption and then figure out what we want to do from there. It feels good to NOT feel much when Vietnam comes up.
So I've been reading There Is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene. It's the story of an Ethiopian woman who agrees to take in an orphaned teenage girl, and suddenly becomes flooded with orphaned children needing a home. The story of how her life evolves is interspersed with factual information about Ethiopian culture, the HIV/AIDS epidemic, and international adoption from the sending country's side. I'm about 2/3 through it, and it's a well-written book that keeps your attention. I'm one of those people who reads at bedtime, and it's been awhile since I've found a book that I wanted to pick back up during the day. I can easily recommend this book! Check it out: http://www.amazon.com/There-No-Me-Without-You/dp/1596912936/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225348231&sr=8-1
One last thing: a shameless plug for my new online shop. I promise not to break out a bright blue sequined gown with giant letters spelling out the web address a la Macy Grey (anyone remember that?), but here it is in plain old black and white:
www.terrapincreek.etsy.com
I'll be adding new items throughout the holiday season, so check it out every so often for handmade jewelry and gifts! :)
Today was some day. I went to the dentist because my jaw hurts so bad when I chew that I've been living on SlimFast, broth, and peanut butter on a spoon for two days. Anyone surprised that the cause is that I've been clenching my teeth for the last couple months? (It's not just the adoption stuff -- there's some other drama going on with people very close to me.) But the good news is that now that I know what's going on, I can stay conscious of it and stop doing it, and do some things to heal it. And, I found a great new dentist. :)
Even better news... when I got home our home study was in the mailbox! Whoohoo!!! So tomorrow that will be mailed to USCIS with supporting documents. It took about a week to get our Vietnam approval once the correct documents were sent, so if everything goes smoothly we'll have our USCIS approval for Ethiopia late next week. Then we take a huge stack of documents to be notarized (there is a notary at John's work that has been super nice about helping us out with this). THEN, two documents get sent to the Secretary of State to be State Certified, which should only take a week, and then we can send in our dossier!!!
On the Vietnam front -- the negotiations have been postponed. No word on a new date for talks to begin. Thank God we decided six months ago to pursue a concurrent adoption in Ethiopia! It's taken me that six months to let go of Vietnam. Not that I don't still get waves of emotion when I read new information about what's going on with it, but the waves are much quicker and shallower than they used to be. I really don't think Vietnam will open back up for at least a year, and really, that would probably be best for us. We'll have time to complete our Ethiopia adoption and then figure out what we want to do from there. It feels good to NOT feel much when Vietnam comes up.
So I've been reading There Is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene. It's the story of an Ethiopian woman who agrees to take in an orphaned teenage girl, and suddenly becomes flooded with orphaned children needing a home. The story of how her life evolves is interspersed with factual information about Ethiopian culture, the HIV/AIDS epidemic, and international adoption from the sending country's side. I'm about 2/3 through it, and it's a well-written book that keeps your attention. I'm one of those people who reads at bedtime, and it's been awhile since I've found a book that I wanted to pick back up during the day. I can easily recommend this book! Check it out: http://www.amazon.com/There-No-Me-Without-You/dp/1596912936/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225348231&sr=8-1
One last thing: a shameless plug for my new online shop. I promise not to break out a bright blue sequined gown with giant letters spelling out the web address a la Macy Grey (anyone remember that?), but here it is in plain old black and white:
www.terrapincreek.etsy.com
I'll be adding new items throughout the holiday season, so check it out every so often for handmade jewelry and gifts! :)
Friday, October 17, 2008
I Shoulda Known
ETHIOPIA
Well, here I was getting excited because I have everything ready to go, just waiting on the home study to send in our USCIS I-600A application. I checked in 10 days ago with the social worker who said it was sent to the placement agency on October 2nd for review, so I called the placement agency and the woman there said she had just emailed it back to our social worker. Whoohoo! I figured we'd have our home study this week and be on our way to finishing up the dossier. HA! Silly, silly me.
No home study has arrived, so I emailed the social worker asking how it was coming. I got an email back saying it was at the placement agency for review. Um, no.... So I replied saying I'd talked to them October 8 and they had emailed it back. I get another email from the director of the home study agency saying they didn't get anything. So I call the placement agency, and wouldn't you know, NEITHER of the two people who review home studies work on Fridays. Wouldn't you think if you had two people for a job you'd stagger their schedules to cover your hours of operation? Wouldn't you think that if you'd sent someone a home study for review and hadn't gotten it back over two weeks later you'd check in to see what the hold up was? Here I am, not wanting to be a pain in the arse by hounding them about it, and now we've lost ten days.
Ok, so in the grand scheme of things, what's 10 days? I mean, that's nothing, right? Well, when you've crossed the two year mark of trying to adopt and find yourself not even on a waiting list anymore and having to start over, 10 days feels like an eternity. Over-reaction? Probably. Do I care? Not particularly. Not right now. GRRRRRRR!
VIETNAM
Icing on the cake -- we just found out that the U.S. Embassy has told the IAD that they must return all dossiers that didn't get referrals to the adoption service providers (placement agencies). Gee, thanks again, U.S. government! Now odds are we will have to redo the whole dossier to resubmit it IF a new MOA is ever put in place. Our agency is keeping the dossiers in their offices in Hanoi so that IF the IAD will accept them back they will be resubmitted as soon as possible.
This comes after more weird drama in the jinxed process for us. I sent in all the paperwork to renew our I-600A which expired today (if you renew before expiration it's free -- if you miss the deadline it's over $800 in fees!). Last week I get a notice that one of the documents didn't have the required information. So I call the place that issues the document and overnighted a request for the correct info. I get a phone call from a cranky lady asking why she has to redo it when she knows she sent the right stuff the first time. I appologize for the inconvenience, say I don't know where the info is if it was sent, and beg her to resend it. Fine, she relents, she'll put it in the mail that afternoon (Wednesday). Meanwhile I start looking around and discover what she was talking about. I was suppose to have three certified copies, but she sent three certified cover letters and only one print out of the relevent info, not attched to the cover letters, so I thought it was a receipt. I throw it all in a Priority Mail envelope and mail it to Manchester on Thursday (Manchester is two towns away, so even first class gets there next day, but I use Priority so I can track it). Friday night John comes in saying we got something that looks important in the mail. I'm thinking it's the new documents, but no -- not only do I not have the docs that she said she was mailing Wednesday in the Express Mail envelope I provided, but it's the PRIORITY MAIL I had sent out the day before! No note, no reason for return. I track the package, and online it says it's at the Manchester Postal unit. HUH??? So I call the 800 # where another cranky lady informs me she can't give me any info because the systems are down, and besides that, Priority Mail delivery times are ESTIMATES, not guarantees. In a moment of letting out the kind of comment I usually keep in my mind, I snap back, "No, but you don't ESTIMATE that your going to put it BACK in my mailbox the next day either!" Well, that was a productive conversation. Saturday morning I go to the post office and ask the woman behind the desk if she can tell me why it was returned (I was much, much nicer this time, I promise). Nope. No reason. She appologized and assured me she'd get it out right away. See, that's all I needed -- a simple "I'm sorry this happened." Why is that so hard for some people? Is it because they are on the phone and don't have to look you in the eye, so the human connection is lost?
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, still no new documents. And Monday was a holiday, so no government offices open or mail delivery. Finally, Tuesday, I call the place back and ask if she mailed the docs on Wednesday since I didn't have them and online it had no information that it had even been checked into the system. Cranky Lady, with an extra dose of snippiness, informs me she mailed it Friday. Or maybe Thursday. But probably Friday. "And I sent it in the envelope that YOU provided!" I simply thanked her and got off the phone before her negative energy could cross the phone lines and permanently implant itself into my brain. Because God knows I'm not producing enough negative energy on my own! Thank goodness I found the first print out, or we'd have been SOL. Tuesday night I track the package, and online I am informed that it was MISDIRECTED, but that the error was being corrected and it would be delivered as soon as possible, though no estimate as to when that might be. Fabulous! Luckily it finally showed up on Wednesday. This time there was no cover letter, just print outs, but this time she certified the print out. So I threw one in an envelope and mailed it to USCIS because with our luck, they would look at the first one and say that having the cover letter certified (but not the print out) wasn't good enough. Better safe than sorry.
[insert deep breath here]
Soooo, now we are waiting for our Vietnam renewal approval from USCIS, and waiting for our missing home study for Ethiopia. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Some days that's the four-letter-word of adoption! So much waiting!!!
On what I would normally consider a hopeful note were I not feeling so surly and cynical, the U.S. and Vietnam are set to begin negotiations by the end of the month. Keep your fingers crossed that they decide to negotiate an interim MOA and don't decide to just hold off until Vietnam joins the Hague Convention, which they are working towards, but will take years. (For comparison, it took the U.S. 10 years to become compliant and join the Hague!)
P.S. I'll try for something peppier in my next post. :)
Well, here I was getting excited because I have everything ready to go, just waiting on the home study to send in our USCIS I-600A application. I checked in 10 days ago with the social worker who said it was sent to the placement agency on October 2nd for review, so I called the placement agency and the woman there said she had just emailed it back to our social worker. Whoohoo! I figured we'd have our home study this week and be on our way to finishing up the dossier. HA! Silly, silly me.
No home study has arrived, so I emailed the social worker asking how it was coming. I got an email back saying it was at the placement agency for review. Um, no.... So I replied saying I'd talked to them October 8 and they had emailed it back. I get another email from the director of the home study agency saying they didn't get anything. So I call the placement agency, and wouldn't you know, NEITHER of the two people who review home studies work on Fridays. Wouldn't you think if you had two people for a job you'd stagger their schedules to cover your hours of operation? Wouldn't you think that if you'd sent someone a home study for review and hadn't gotten it back over two weeks later you'd check in to see what the hold up was? Here I am, not wanting to be a pain in the arse by hounding them about it, and now we've lost ten days.
Ok, so in the grand scheme of things, what's 10 days? I mean, that's nothing, right? Well, when you've crossed the two year mark of trying to adopt and find yourself not even on a waiting list anymore and having to start over, 10 days feels like an eternity. Over-reaction? Probably. Do I care? Not particularly. Not right now. GRRRRRRR!
VIETNAM
Icing on the cake -- we just found out that the U.S. Embassy has told the IAD that they must return all dossiers that didn't get referrals to the adoption service providers (placement agencies). Gee, thanks again, U.S. government! Now odds are we will have to redo the whole dossier to resubmit it IF a new MOA is ever put in place. Our agency is keeping the dossiers in their offices in Hanoi so that IF the IAD will accept them back they will be resubmitted as soon as possible.
This comes after more weird drama in the jinxed process for us. I sent in all the paperwork to renew our I-600A which expired today (if you renew before expiration it's free -- if you miss the deadline it's over $800 in fees!). Last week I get a notice that one of the documents didn't have the required information. So I call the place that issues the document and overnighted a request for the correct info. I get a phone call from a cranky lady asking why she has to redo it when she knows she sent the right stuff the first time. I appologize for the inconvenience, say I don't know where the info is if it was sent, and beg her to resend it. Fine, she relents, she'll put it in the mail that afternoon (Wednesday). Meanwhile I start looking around and discover what she was talking about. I was suppose to have three certified copies, but she sent three certified cover letters and only one print out of the relevent info, not attched to the cover letters, so I thought it was a receipt. I throw it all in a Priority Mail envelope and mail it to Manchester on Thursday (Manchester is two towns away, so even first class gets there next day, but I use Priority so I can track it). Friday night John comes in saying we got something that looks important in the mail. I'm thinking it's the new documents, but no -- not only do I not have the docs that she said she was mailing Wednesday in the Express Mail envelope I provided, but it's the PRIORITY MAIL I had sent out the day before! No note, no reason for return. I track the package, and online it says it's at the Manchester Postal unit. HUH??? So I call the 800 # where another cranky lady informs me she can't give me any info because the systems are down, and besides that, Priority Mail delivery times are ESTIMATES, not guarantees. In a moment of letting out the kind of comment I usually keep in my mind, I snap back, "No, but you don't ESTIMATE that your going to put it BACK in my mailbox the next day either!" Well, that was a productive conversation. Saturday morning I go to the post office and ask the woman behind the desk if she can tell me why it was returned (I was much, much nicer this time, I promise). Nope. No reason. She appologized and assured me she'd get it out right away. See, that's all I needed -- a simple "I'm sorry this happened." Why is that so hard for some people? Is it because they are on the phone and don't have to look you in the eye, so the human connection is lost?
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, still no new documents. And Monday was a holiday, so no government offices open or mail delivery. Finally, Tuesday, I call the place back and ask if she mailed the docs on Wednesday since I didn't have them and online it had no information that it had even been checked into the system. Cranky Lady, with an extra dose of snippiness, informs me she mailed it Friday. Or maybe Thursday. But probably Friday. "And I sent it in the envelope that YOU provided!" I simply thanked her and got off the phone before her negative energy could cross the phone lines and permanently implant itself into my brain. Because God knows I'm not producing enough negative energy on my own! Thank goodness I found the first print out, or we'd have been SOL. Tuesday night I track the package, and online I am informed that it was MISDIRECTED, but that the error was being corrected and it would be delivered as soon as possible, though no estimate as to when that might be. Fabulous! Luckily it finally showed up on Wednesday. This time there was no cover letter, just print outs, but this time she certified the print out. So I threw one in an envelope and mailed it to USCIS because with our luck, they would look at the first one and say that having the cover letter certified (but not the print out) wasn't good enough. Better safe than sorry.
[insert deep breath here]
Soooo, now we are waiting for our Vietnam renewal approval from USCIS, and waiting for our missing home study for Ethiopia. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Some days that's the four-letter-word of adoption! So much waiting!!!
On what I would normally consider a hopeful note were I not feeling so surly and cynical, the U.S. and Vietnam are set to begin negotiations by the end of the month. Keep your fingers crossed that they decide to negotiate an interim MOA and don't decide to just hold off until Vietnam joins the Hague Convention, which they are working towards, but will take years. (For comparison, it took the U.S. 10 years to become compliant and join the Hague!)
P.S. I'll try for something peppier in my next post. :)
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
We're Baaaaaaack!
Hello, hello! It's been awhile, eh? So, so much has happened.
I will begin with why I have been MIA for so long. I'm a fairly practical person, and I tend to accept change well, but this whole close down suddenly hit me much harder than I expected it to. I was feeling nothing good; it was pretty much down to bitterness, resentment, jealousy, and/or self-pity, with the intermittent relief of numbness. Not really the kind of stuff you want to admit to people, or subject them to in post after post of ranting. I knew things were really bad when I would read about others getting their referrals and feel anger instead of happiness for them. I'm usually good at separating my situation from others, and really, I WAS happy for them deep down, but I was bitter, too. That was tough to acknowledge. It was just such a stressful time with rumors flying all over the place, hope one minute and despair the next, and no timeline for getting any answers to the million and a half questions we all had. Therefore, I had no answers to share here, no timeline to offer for when I would have answers, and no positive thoughts to sustain us in our collective wait.
BUT, here we are, post-September-1st, and I have a few tentative answers, along with some new (to some of you) news to share.
VIETNAM
Here's what we know: it's closed to U.S. adoptions. This is the one solid fact there is. However, there are signs that all is not lost:
1) The Vietnamese have named a high-level government official to negotiate a new MOA, and have formally requested that the DoS begin negotiations with them. This is a very good sign, as last time they closed it was for two years, due in large part (according to our agency) to no-one feeling any urgency to start working toward a new agreement. At least they are being more proactive in getting things rolling this time around.
2) The IAD in Vietnam has agreed to keep the dossiers that are already logged-in. They will not be returned to the agencies, meaning the IAD should honor them when Vietnam opens back up.
Based on these two signs, we have decided to renew our I600-A for Vietnam (which is due to expire next month) in hopes that a new MOA will be reached well before the next expiration 18 months from now. Then we'll just let that all simmer on a back burner.
SO WHAT, YOU MAY ASK, IS ON THE FRONT BURNER?
Ethiopia.
Last spring I heard that our agency might be willing to let families in their Vietnam and Guatamala programs start a concurrent adoption in another country due to the uncertainties in both of these programs. We were placed on the waiting list for their Ethiopia pilot program which they hoped to start within the next few weeks. We waited (fairly impatiently) for word that the program was a go and we should start our paperwork. No word came. Finally, when word did come, it was that they did not feel we would be good candidates for a pilot program in a new country because we do not have a squeaky-clean background (damn genetics and irresponsible young adulthood!).
Feeling disappointed, but understanding the agency's perspective (they want to build up a relationship with a new country before they can advocate for less than perfect families), I decided to look around. I found several agencies with established programs who had no problem accepting us as clients. It took awhile to get permission from our first agency to start working with a second one, but after establishing conditions (for example, there must be at least 6 months between bringing children home), we were free to begin. After researching many of them, we had it narrowed down to two. One of John's co-workers had recently received a referral from one of them, and shared with us her experience. The decision was made. On July 3, as we left town to go visit my family and celebrate my mom's retirement, we dropped our application in the mailbox.
Things with Ethiopia and our new agency are much different -- before, when our application was accepted we started right in on our dossier for Vietnam. This agency accepts your application, then requires letters of reference be sent in, after which they conduct a phone interview, and THEN they send you information on starting your dossier. For two impatient people starting over after more than a year and a half, this seemed like a very long wait just to get started again! But, it all happened, and we are now in the process of putting together our dossier for Ethiopia! It is a lot of work, but overall, a MUCH easier dossier than Vietnam! Most documents just need to be notarized (no need for state certification and then embassy authentication? Whoohoo!!). It's still frustrating to have so many things outside of our control, but this time I know MUCH better what I'm doing and the requirements are less rigid, so things are going much smoother.
Last month we went to John's co-worker's house to meet their family. They had just brought their son home from Ethiopia! I tell ya, there is absolutely no possible way that kid could be any cuter! How quickly you forget what's it's like to feed a baby, and how LIGHT they are! When I picked up that 9-month-old body I almost threw him over my shoulder (ok, maybe not, but I certainly hefted him more than was necessary!). Oh, John and I are both in love. :) Oh, yeah, and his parents are pretty darn cool, too. ;)
So, that's the basic overview of things as they stand now. My goal is to get back into the swing of blogging, so watch your inboxes for future installments. (If you aren't already subscribed to email, you can do so on the right).
I will begin with why I have been MIA for so long. I'm a fairly practical person, and I tend to accept change well, but this whole close down suddenly hit me much harder than I expected it to. I was feeling nothing good; it was pretty much down to bitterness, resentment, jealousy, and/or self-pity, with the intermittent relief of numbness. Not really the kind of stuff you want to admit to people, or subject them to in post after post of ranting. I knew things were really bad when I would read about others getting their referrals and feel anger instead of happiness for them. I'm usually good at separating my situation from others, and really, I WAS happy for them deep down, but I was bitter, too. That was tough to acknowledge. It was just such a stressful time with rumors flying all over the place, hope one minute and despair the next, and no timeline for getting any answers to the million and a half questions we all had. Therefore, I had no answers to share here, no timeline to offer for when I would have answers, and no positive thoughts to sustain us in our collective wait.
BUT, here we are, post-September-1st, and I have a few tentative answers, along with some new (to some of you) news to share.
VIETNAM
Here's what we know: it's closed to U.S. adoptions. This is the one solid fact there is. However, there are signs that all is not lost:
1) The Vietnamese have named a high-level government official to negotiate a new MOA, and have formally requested that the DoS begin negotiations with them. This is a very good sign, as last time they closed it was for two years, due in large part (according to our agency) to no-one feeling any urgency to start working toward a new agreement. At least they are being more proactive in getting things rolling this time around.
2) The IAD in Vietnam has agreed to keep the dossiers that are already logged-in. They will not be returned to the agencies, meaning the IAD should honor them when Vietnam opens back up.
Based on these two signs, we have decided to renew our I600-A for Vietnam (which is due to expire next month) in hopes that a new MOA will be reached well before the next expiration 18 months from now. Then we'll just let that all simmer on a back burner.
SO WHAT, YOU MAY ASK, IS ON THE FRONT BURNER?
Ethiopia.
Last spring I heard that our agency might be willing to let families in their Vietnam and Guatamala programs start a concurrent adoption in another country due to the uncertainties in both of these programs. We were placed on the waiting list for their Ethiopia pilot program which they hoped to start within the next few weeks. We waited (fairly impatiently) for word that the program was a go and we should start our paperwork. No word came. Finally, when word did come, it was that they did not feel we would be good candidates for a pilot program in a new country because we do not have a squeaky-clean background (damn genetics and irresponsible young adulthood!).
Feeling disappointed, but understanding the agency's perspective (they want to build up a relationship with a new country before they can advocate for less than perfect families), I decided to look around. I found several agencies with established programs who had no problem accepting us as clients. It took awhile to get permission from our first agency to start working with a second one, but after establishing conditions (for example, there must be at least 6 months between bringing children home), we were free to begin. After researching many of them, we had it narrowed down to two. One of John's co-workers had recently received a referral from one of them, and shared with us her experience. The decision was made. On July 3, as we left town to go visit my family and celebrate my mom's retirement, we dropped our application in the mailbox.
Things with Ethiopia and our new agency are much different -- before, when our application was accepted we started right in on our dossier for Vietnam. This agency accepts your application, then requires letters of reference be sent in, after which they conduct a phone interview, and THEN they send you information on starting your dossier. For two impatient people starting over after more than a year and a half, this seemed like a very long wait just to get started again! But, it all happened, and we are now in the process of putting together our dossier for Ethiopia! It is a lot of work, but overall, a MUCH easier dossier than Vietnam! Most documents just need to be notarized (no need for state certification and then embassy authentication? Whoohoo!!). It's still frustrating to have so many things outside of our control, but this time I know MUCH better what I'm doing and the requirements are less rigid, so things are going much smoother.
Last month we went to John's co-worker's house to meet their family. They had just brought their son home from Ethiopia! I tell ya, there is absolutely no possible way that kid could be any cuter! How quickly you forget what's it's like to feed a baby, and how LIGHT they are! When I picked up that 9-month-old body I almost threw him over my shoulder (ok, maybe not, but I certainly hefted him more than was necessary!). Oh, John and I are both in love. :) Oh, yeah, and his parents are pretty darn cool, too. ;)
So, that's the basic overview of things as they stand now. My goal is to get back into the swing of blogging, so watch your inboxes for future installments. (If you aren't already subscribed to email, you can do so on the right).
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Hold Your Breathe -- No Wait -- Don't.
Ok, so how badly does this suck right now? Oh, so, so badly! For those who haven't seen CNN or Yahoo News lately, Vietnam has announced that they will stop logging in dossiers from the U.S. on July 1 and anyone who does not have an official referral by Sept. 1 will have their dossier returned to them and will not be allowed to complete their adoption.
Our dossier has been logged in since last May, but only a miracle will get us a referral by Sept. 1. I'm talking Heavens splitting open, choir of angels singing Hallelujah, blinding celestial light shining down, and God himself demanding that VN give us a referral.
Yeah. Something tells me God has bigger problems to focus on.
Soooooooooo, here we are. Our agency is holding on to the slimmest glimmer of hope that Dr. Long will change his mind and allow anyone with a logged in dossier to complete their adoption, so we are leaving our paperwork where it is on the off chance Dr. Long will take pity on us poor saps. But, the embassy really, really pissed him off (and I do NOT blame him one bit -- they really made it sound like VN is just rampant with the most heinous kinds of corruption and baby selling/kidnapping, etc., when really the vast majority of adoptions have been completely ethical, and Dr. Long has worked very hard to make adoptions more transparent and centralized). Obviously unethical practices should not be tolerated in any way, but it's a shame that the embassy and media chose to paint the whole program in such a horrible light. And I am wondering where the report is that names the American agencies that are taking part in the unethical practices? How are PAPs suppose to avoid unethical agencies when they are not being held accountable? This really highlights the fact that there is no federal regulation of adoption agencies, so even if one is found to be bad in one state, they can just move to another and open back up with no-one the wiser. I read somewhere that someone said it is easier to open an adoption agency than it is to open a donut shop. Truly frightening.
Anyway, back from the Vent tangent. We are now looking at alternatives. We are not at all sure what we are going to do yet, but hopefully we will have a Plan B very soon and we can focus on that while Plan A sits and waits for answers that will not come until August.
Sigh. This is so disappointing, shocking, sickening for us, but what truly breaks my heart is the thought of all the humanitarian aid that will be leaving when the U.S. agencies are no longer allowed in. There will still be other countries that are allowed to adopt from VN, so I hope that every child in need of an adoptive home is able to find one somewhere in the world. But many who are unable to be adopted, and their communities, will be left without the aid they once had. Heartbreaking.
Our dossier has been logged in since last May, but only a miracle will get us a referral by Sept. 1. I'm talking Heavens splitting open, choir of angels singing Hallelujah, blinding celestial light shining down, and God himself demanding that VN give us a referral.
Yeah. Something tells me God has bigger problems to focus on.
Soooooooooo, here we are. Our agency is holding on to the slimmest glimmer of hope that Dr. Long will change his mind and allow anyone with a logged in dossier to complete their adoption, so we are leaving our paperwork where it is on the off chance Dr. Long will take pity on us poor saps. But, the embassy really, really pissed him off (and I do NOT blame him one bit -- they really made it sound like VN is just rampant with the most heinous kinds of corruption and baby selling/kidnapping, etc., when really the vast majority of adoptions have been completely ethical, and Dr. Long has worked very hard to make adoptions more transparent and centralized). Obviously unethical practices should not be tolerated in any way, but it's a shame that the embassy and media chose to paint the whole program in such a horrible light. And I am wondering where the report is that names the American agencies that are taking part in the unethical practices? How are PAPs suppose to avoid unethical agencies when they are not being held accountable? This really highlights the fact that there is no federal regulation of adoption agencies, so even if one is found to be bad in one state, they can just move to another and open back up with no-one the wiser. I read somewhere that someone said it is easier to open an adoption agency than it is to open a donut shop. Truly frightening.
Anyway, back from the Vent tangent. We are now looking at alternatives. We are not at all sure what we are going to do yet, but hopefully we will have a Plan B very soon and we can focus on that while Plan A sits and waits for answers that will not come until August.
Sigh. This is so disappointing, shocking, sickening for us, but what truly breaks my heart is the thought of all the humanitarian aid that will be leaving when the U.S. agencies are no longer allowed in. There will still be other countries that are allowed to adopt from VN, so I hope that every child in need of an adoptive home is able to find one somewhere in the world. But many who are unable to be adopted, and their communities, will be left without the aid they once had. Heartbreaking.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Memorandum of Agreement
The Memorandum of Agreement (MOA) between the U.S. and Vietnam allows U.S. citizens to adopt from Vietnam. There are provisions in the agreement that each country was required to meet, and unfortunately, not all have been met. This agreement is set to expire September 1, 2008, and the U.S. Department of State has indicated that they will not renew the agreement because of the commitments that were not met. However, they are still willing to work with Vietnam to negotiate a new agreement.
What does this mean for parents waiting to adopt from Vietnam? No one knows yet. Those who already have a referral and are waiting to travel should be fine. Those who should be receiving referrals soon may also be ok if they can travel and complete the adoption before September 1. For those of us who are waiting for a referral that will come later, especially after September 1 (like us), the future is very murky. The Dept. of State is advising that no one begin the process to adopt from Vietnam at this time. Many believe that this is just to be open and honest about the fact that there is a chance that adoptions will be halted when the current MOA expires.
As I see it, there are many things that can happen now:
- The U.S. can change their mind and renew the current agreement.
- The U.S. and Vietnam can negotiate a new agreement in time to keep adoptions going without interuption, or with an interuption (who knows how long that could be).
- The two countries could fail to come to any agreement and all adoptions not completed by September 1, 2008 will not happen.
- They could fail to agree, but Vietnam could allow anyone with a referral as of Sept. 1 to complete the adoption.
- They could fail to agree, but Vietnam could allow anyone currently in process to complete their adoptions.
There are probably a few other options in there that I just don't know enough about it all to think of. For now, we are just hoping for the best.
You can read the statement from the Department of State here:
http://www.travel.state.gov/family/adoption/intercountry/intercountry_3939.html
What does this mean for parents waiting to adopt from Vietnam? No one knows yet. Those who already have a referral and are waiting to travel should be fine. Those who should be receiving referrals soon may also be ok if they can travel and complete the adoption before September 1. For those of us who are waiting for a referral that will come later, especially after September 1 (like us), the future is very murky. The Dept. of State is advising that no one begin the process to adopt from Vietnam at this time. Many believe that this is just to be open and honest about the fact that there is a chance that adoptions will be halted when the current MOA expires.
As I see it, there are many things that can happen now:
- The U.S. can change their mind and renew the current agreement.
- The U.S. and Vietnam can negotiate a new agreement in time to keep adoptions going without interuption, or with an interuption (who knows how long that could be).
- The two countries could fail to come to any agreement and all adoptions not completed by September 1, 2008 will not happen.
- They could fail to agree, but Vietnam could allow anyone with a referral as of Sept. 1 to complete the adoption.
- They could fail to agree, but Vietnam could allow anyone currently in process to complete their adoptions.
There are probably a few other options in there that I just don't know enough about it all to think of. For now, we are just hoping for the best.
You can read the statement from the Department of State here:
http://www.travel.state.gov/family/adoption/intercountry/intercountry_3939.html
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Huge Month for FTIA Vietnam!
Two more referrals were made last week, which means SEVEN families have received referrals in the month of January! I can't hardly believe it, after how slow (and non-existent for awhile) referrals were last year. February will likely be slower due to Tet celebrations (Feb. 6-11), but the coordinators expect referrals to continue to be steady in the coming months.
Additional news from FTIA is that the age of infants coming home from Vietnam will be older than in the past. Vietnam has put more procedures in place to allow family members or other Vietnamese families to adopt the children before they become eligible for international adoption. In addition, USCIS has changed the Procedure for filing the I-600, the determination of a child's orphan status. You used to file it at the U.S. embassy in Hanoi while you were there completing your adoption. Now, they require you to file this before you travel, which has cut in-country time by about a week, but increased the wait to travel after referral to 3-5 months. These are important safeguards -- and I support anything that makes international adoption more transparent and ethical -- it just means that the youngest children coming from Vietnam will be 9-12 months old.
I've been "nesting" lately. Maybe it's because we finally have a room that will be hers. I've bought some cute clothes (size 2T so it doesn't matter when her birthday is -- I don't have to worry about buying long sleeves that will end up fitting her in summer, she'll have a year to wear 2T), downloaded a bunch of patterns for cute boutique-style little girl clothes (now I just have to find that inner bobbin for my sewing machine...), and bought the wall coverings to decorate her room. I bought a product called Tatouage, a dry rub transfer, that you just rub onto the wall. I got a ton of stuff to make a garden scene on 2 walls, including a picket fence and gate, lots of flowers, a shade tree that will go from floor to ceiling, birds, butterflies, and lots of fairies to play among the flowers. I can't wait to do it, but I need to prime and paint first. I'm hoping to talk John into painting fluffy clouds in a blue sky like he did for J's nursery.
We sent in our application to a new home study agency and received word today that they will be working with us. I talked to the director there last week and really liked her. The agency is based in Keene, NH, but they have a couple social workers who live in our area, so we won't need to travel over an hour to work with them. I'm certain our experience with this agency will be a million times better than our last experience! It would be hard to get worse (though I'm sure there are worse stories out there!).
As I mentioned, Tet is coming up. This is the Vietnamese New Year. I thought I'd share some information I learned today while reading my Chao Ban newsletter (an excellent newsletter for families of children adopted from Vietnam that is put out 4 times per year by a couple who've adopted). This year is the year of the Rat, which is the beginning of the twelve year cycle of the Asian Zodiac calendar. The Rat symbolizes acquisition, industry, and prosperity -- just think of the hard work these animals do to hoard their food. So this is a year for hard work and abundance, but also one to practice being humble about one's achievements.
One difference between the Vietnamese and Chinese calendars is that the Chinese includes an Ox and a Rabbit, and in place of these the Vietnamese calendar has a Water Buffalo and a Cat.
More on Tet later!
Additional news from FTIA is that the age of infants coming home from Vietnam will be older than in the past. Vietnam has put more procedures in place to allow family members or other Vietnamese families to adopt the children before they become eligible for international adoption. In addition, USCIS has changed the Procedure for filing the I-600, the determination of a child's orphan status. You used to file it at the U.S. embassy in Hanoi while you were there completing your adoption. Now, they require you to file this before you travel, which has cut in-country time by about a week, but increased the wait to travel after referral to 3-5 months. These are important safeguards -- and I support anything that makes international adoption more transparent and ethical -- it just means that the youngest children coming from Vietnam will be 9-12 months old.
I've been "nesting" lately. Maybe it's because we finally have a room that will be hers. I've bought some cute clothes (size 2T so it doesn't matter when her birthday is -- I don't have to worry about buying long sleeves that will end up fitting her in summer, she'll have a year to wear 2T), downloaded a bunch of patterns for cute boutique-style little girl clothes (now I just have to find that inner bobbin for my sewing machine...), and bought the wall coverings to decorate her room. I bought a product called Tatouage, a dry rub transfer, that you just rub onto the wall. I got a ton of stuff to make a garden scene on 2 walls, including a picket fence and gate, lots of flowers, a shade tree that will go from floor to ceiling, birds, butterflies, and lots of fairies to play among the flowers. I can't wait to do it, but I need to prime and paint first. I'm hoping to talk John into painting fluffy clouds in a blue sky like he did for J's nursery.
We sent in our application to a new home study agency and received word today that they will be working with us. I talked to the director there last week and really liked her. The agency is based in Keene, NH, but they have a couple social workers who live in our area, so we won't need to travel over an hour to work with them. I'm certain our experience with this agency will be a million times better than our last experience! It would be hard to get worse (though I'm sure there are worse stories out there!).
As I mentioned, Tet is coming up. This is the Vietnamese New Year. I thought I'd share some information I learned today while reading my Chao Ban newsletter (an excellent newsletter for families of children adopted from Vietnam that is put out 4 times per year by a couple who've adopted). This year is the year of the Rat, which is the beginning of the twelve year cycle of the Asian Zodiac calendar. The Rat symbolizes acquisition, industry, and prosperity -- just think of the hard work these animals do to hoard their food. So this is a year for hard work and abundance, but also one to practice being humble about one's achievements.
One difference between the Vietnamese and Chinese calendars is that the Chinese includes an Ox and a Rabbit, and in place of these the Vietnamese calendar has a Water Buffalo and a Cat.
More on Tet later!
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Soooooooooo Cute!
First, I've got some referral news. On January 2 FTIA Vietnam referred FOUR babies! Three boys and one girl! What a great start to the new year!
Now, to the cute part: one of my fellow FTIA PAPs (Prospective Adoptive Parent) posted a link to a website with THE CUTEST little handmade dresses at unbelievable prices! I believe this is a fund raiser done by another adoptive parent, and she has such adorable styles, as well as awesome fabrics. I wish I knew where she found such great prints. I'm tempted to order a whole closet full (and at those prices I probably could!). The link is: http://redthreadstitches.blogspot.com/2007/12/product-selection.html I'll also add it to my list of links on the right.
Just had to share this. Oh, and speaking of cute -- I woke up this morning when J grabbed my face with both hands and announced, "Hi! My name is J!" Lest I forget... LOL
Now, to the cute part: one of my fellow FTIA PAPs (Prospective Adoptive Parent) posted a link to a website with THE CUTEST little handmade dresses at unbelievable prices! I believe this is a fund raiser done by another adoptive parent, and she has such adorable styles, as well as awesome fabrics. I wish I knew where she found such great prints. I'm tempted to order a whole closet full (and at those prices I probably could!). The link is: http://redthreadstitches.blogspot.com/2007/12/product-selection.html I'll also add it to my list of links on the right.
Just had to share this. Oh, and speaking of cute -- I woke up this morning when J grabbed my face with both hands and announced, "Hi! My name is J!" Lest I forget... LOL
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