Hey! I finally figured out how to add Subscription to our blog. That means if you sign up for it, you will receive an email whenever I add a new post. Nice, eh?
On the right you'll see a green box that includes our family picture. Just below the green box is a blue one that says, "Subscribe to Our Vietnam Adoption Journey by Email." Click on that link and you'll be directed to a form from FeedBurner requesting your email address. Sign up here, and you're all done. Easy Peasy!
Emails will come from "Our Vietnam Adoption Journey" and will include the first few sentences of the new post. Want to see the full thing? Just click on the title of the post in your email. Want to see the whole blog with all the previous posts, too? Just click the "Home" link at the bottom of the full post.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
It's a Miracle
Well, well, the tide seems to be turning, at least a little. My police report made it to Rachel at FTIA this morning, just in time for her to hand carry it to Vietnam. I pleaded with the consulate in my cover letter to rush it out and mail it by Tuesday (they received it Monday), but I didn't really expect it to happen! So a big cosmic THANK YOU to the people at the consulate for helping me out on this. Now I just wait to hear if the IAD will accept it before I let my breath out completely.
This past Saturday we went to the Dragon Boat Races in Chinatown and met some of the members of Families with Children from Vietnam. Everyone was super nice, and we even got to meet a little cutie pie that just came home a few months ago. There were also families who adopted before the shut down (their kids are about 5 years old or older) and some who are in the process of waiting like us. I'm going to try to attempt to add pictures... Ok, well the pictures are here but I can't figure out how to move them from the top to where I want them (i.e. here). I'll learn it later. Anyway, The first picture is the dragon boats -- check out the person reaching out over the bow to grab the flag... I want that job. :) Next is John and Ethan enjoying the day, Jack and his new friend Thomas, and finally, Ethan all tuckered out after a long day. It was a lot of fun, and we loved meeting the other families.
P.S. You should be able to click on the images to enlarge them, then just click your back button to return to the blog.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Wouldn't Ya Know It
Well, the consulate did not fix my police report, and apparently messed it up even more, so I had to redo it. I found out June 6 and the document was set to expire on June 9 anyway. However, our dossier still hadn't been submitted to the IAD, so I worried that John's police report, our marriage certificate, and medical reports (and possibly other stuff) was expiring also and may not be accepted. Rachel said not to worry about it -- they are going to try to convince the IAD to extend the 6 month deadline for the dossiers that were in Vietnam before June 1 (the date that the IAD said they would no longer be able to hold dossiers in their offices). It sounds very iffy though -- like they have to catch the right person in the right kind of mood or something.
So, I got pretty down about it all for awhile. I try to keep a positive attitude, but come on! Couldn't something just go right for us??? Just redoing this one document cost us over $150 in fees and postage -- when I think of how many times we've redone stuff, it really adds up fast. Being the thrifty (ok, cheap) person that I am it just makes me sick to know that money was spent for naught. But, such is the nature of the international adoption process.
Rachel asked that I try to get the document through the process and to her by July 25 so she could hand carry it to Vietnam with her on her trip there next week. It took a week to get a new document from the Brighton Police Department (though Brenda there has been SO helpful and kind!), and it took another week to get it back from the MI Secretary of State. I just got it today and loaded up the kids and went to the post office to send it on to the consulate. Odds are it won't make it to Rachel in time, since the consulate will get it Monday and would have to immediately process it and send it back out (like THAT'S gonna happen!). If it doesn't get to her in time, our new coordinator Melissa and the senior coordinator for China will review it and then Fed Ex it to Rachel. I'm having the consulate send it directly to FTIA, so it's out of my hands again.
The good news -- our dossier was submitted to the IAD on July 17! They won't review it until we are set to be matched with a child, so we won't know if they want anything redone until then. Which is fine with me! As long as the police report is correct this time, we shouldn't have to worry about any more dossier paperwork for at least a year. Man, would that be nice! I've been working on this stuff for over 7 months now! (How naive I was when I started -- I thought we'd knock it out in about two months, three at the very most -- ha ha ha.)
So, I'm not quite all the way back to my optomistic self yet (and probably won't be until I know the police report is ok and has been turned in to the IAD), but I'm at least out of the self-pity stage. :)
Tomorrow (actually, later today) we are going into Chicago to Chinatown to see the Dragon Boat Races. The Chicago chapter of Families with Children from Vietnam is having their summer picnic there, so we are going to meet everyone. Kathryn and her husband will be there -- we've emailed a few times. They live a couple towns over from us and were put on their agency's waiting list the same day we were! I'm really looking forward to meeting her in person and having a nice picnic with everyone.
So, of course I'll keep you updated on the document drama, and hopefully soon I'll be able to switch the focus of this to more positive and educational topics. :)
So, I got pretty down about it all for awhile. I try to keep a positive attitude, but come on! Couldn't something just go right for us??? Just redoing this one document cost us over $150 in fees and postage -- when I think of how many times we've redone stuff, it really adds up fast. Being the thrifty (ok, cheap) person that I am it just makes me sick to know that money was spent for naught. But, such is the nature of the international adoption process.
Rachel asked that I try to get the document through the process and to her by July 25 so she could hand carry it to Vietnam with her on her trip there next week. It took a week to get a new document from the Brighton Police Department (though Brenda there has been SO helpful and kind!), and it took another week to get it back from the MI Secretary of State. I just got it today and loaded up the kids and went to the post office to send it on to the consulate. Odds are it won't make it to Rachel in time, since the consulate will get it Monday and would have to immediately process it and send it back out (like THAT'S gonna happen!). If it doesn't get to her in time, our new coordinator Melissa and the senior coordinator for China will review it and then Fed Ex it to Rachel. I'm having the consulate send it directly to FTIA, so it's out of my hands again.
The good news -- our dossier was submitted to the IAD on July 17! They won't review it until we are set to be matched with a child, so we won't know if they want anything redone until then. Which is fine with me! As long as the police report is correct this time, we shouldn't have to worry about any more dossier paperwork for at least a year. Man, would that be nice! I've been working on this stuff for over 7 months now! (How naive I was when I started -- I thought we'd knock it out in about two months, three at the very most -- ha ha ha.)
So, I'm not quite all the way back to my optomistic self yet (and probably won't be until I know the police report is ok and has been turned in to the IAD), but I'm at least out of the self-pity stage. :)
Tomorrow (actually, later today) we are going into Chicago to Chinatown to see the Dragon Boat Races. The Chicago chapter of Families with Children from Vietnam is having their summer picnic there, so we are going to meet everyone. Kathryn and her husband will be there -- we've emailed a few times. They live a couple towns over from us and were put on their agency's waiting list the same day we were! I'm really looking forward to meeting her in person and having a nice picnic with everyone.
So, of course I'll keep you updated on the document drama, and hopefully soon I'll be able to switch the focus of this to more positive and educational topics. :)
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
A Call From Rachel
Just a quick update -- I got a call from Rachel (the Senior Vietnam Program coordinator at FTIA) today. There is a problem with one of our documents. When the Vietnam Consulate in San Francisco authorizes documents, they fan all the sheets of one document out and stamp it so that part of the stamp shows on each page. Apparently, there is not enough of the stamp showing on one of the pages of one of our documents, so the notary in Vietnam won't accept it. The office in Hanoi had to send it back to the States. (Rachel said they actually couldn't figure out what was wrong with the document at first, so Keith's wife, who is Vietnamese, called Vietnam to find out!) FTIA has sent the document to the consulate in San Francisco to have them stamp the page again. She hopes that this will satisfy the notary in Vietnam, but she's not sure. So, if it doesn't, we will have to redo the document. Right now we just sit back and wait to see what happens. The rest of our dossier will be submitted to the IAD without this one document, and then they will submit the correct one later.
All I could do was laugh. It's a good thing this is going to take 18 months because it'll take us that long to get our dossier right! :)
All I could do was laugh. It's a good thing this is going to take 18 months because it'll take us that long to get our dossier right! :)
Monday, June 25, 2007
Some News, Plus Questions and Answers
Hi all!
Well, Keith returned from Vietnam feeling optimistic. Things are progressing, and he does not feel that there is a need to extend the wait times. So, we are still looking at 12-18 months (I am banking on 18 months). Yahoo! Also, we received an email from Rachel, the Senior Coordinator of the Vietnam Program, and she said that they have begun to receive paperwork on children from three of the four provinces. Because of the rules in Vietnam governing the process to identify a child as an orphan, there most likely won't be any referrals until August. An ad must run in Vietnamese newspapers for 60 days identifying the child in case a relative decides to step forward and claim him. I'm a bit fuzzy on what the entire process is for the child to be classified an orphan and what the child's paperwork involves, so I think that is a good place for me to do some research and report back later. :)
Anyway, the mood is much lighter now that we know referrals will be starting again.
Now, to answer some questions I received:
Is the wait time different for a boy or a girl? Yes, it is. The wait time for boys is shorter (by about three months, I think). For some reason, people want to adopt more girls than boys. This is true everywhere, not just Vietnam. I'm not sure why, and I think it would be a very interesting thing for a sociologist to study. I know some reasons people want girls... we do because we already have two boys. Some other people have said that they have a girl and want her to have a sister, or that they are single women and would just feel more comfortable and familiar with raising a girl. This is an issue that I struggle with. I LOVE raising my boys -- they are so much fun! And knowing that it's harder to place boys makes me feel for them. I flip flop on it, but John and I have discussed it, and he really wants a little girl. Truthfully, so do I. My daydream wish would be for us to receive a set of siblings, boy and girl. But the odds aren't in our favor for that. A lot of other people have the same dream.
Are there more girls coming out of Vietnam? This is an interesting question. Vietnam is not like China. There is no limit on how many children a family can have. That is a big contributor to why a majority of children adopted from China are girls. In that culture (and in many other Asian cultures), the oldest son is the one who takes care of his parents as they grow older. So, if you can only have one child, it's "better" to have a son so that there is someone to take care of you. I think that many boys who are available for adoption in China are adopted by Chinese families for this reason, also. But back to Vietnam. I believe that there is probably an equal number of boys and girls being classified as orphans, but there may be more girls coming to the U.S. because more people want a girl.
Are there different wait times based on the age of the child (infant, toddler, older child) or disabilities? Yes. The younger the healthy child, the longer the wait. That is one of the reasons Angelina Jolie was able to adopt her son so quickly -- he was 4 years old. There aren't very many people looking for an older child. (I won't conjecture on other reasons she was able to adopt so quickly...) Also, children with disabilities have a much shorter wait time, as they are harder to place. In fact, there are Wait Lists with disabled children who are ready to be adopted now. John and I based the age we requested on the ages of our sons. We feel it is important to keep the birth order, so we are requesting a child/children who would be younger than Ethan (our youngest) would be at the time of the adoption. We are also basing our request for a healthy child on our sons. If we didn't already have children, we might consider some disabilities, but we have to take into account how that will affect our other kids. My sister is deaf, and while our family made a point of treating her the same as the rest of us, there were still the extra hospital visits, speech therapy, time dealing with schools and special education programs... Of course I wouldn't trade my sister for anything in the world, and I don't at all resent the extra things she needed, but it does affect the family. Also, I personally consider deafness an issue that would be much easier to handle than a severely crippled child or one with serious mental disabilities. I would be more open to adopting a deaf child, but I have to respect the fact that John isn't as comfortable with it. He didn't grow up with it as an everyday thing.
So that leads to my viewpoint on these issues. It's easy to say that people are being selfish for choosing healthy baby girls over children who are waiting for homes now. It's not so easy to actually take a waiting child into your home and raise him. Each family makes the decision based on what is right for that family at that time. There are a lot of different factors that go into making the decision -- factors that others may not even think of. It isn't a flippant thing. Our hearts cry out for every child who needs a loving home, but we have taken a long hard look at our lives, and we know what our family can handle and what it isn't ready for. In the end, I don't think it would be right for a child to be placed in a home that isn't prepared to deal with his issues, and may not be able to handle them. That's why children and families are "matched" in adoption rather than randomly coming together. I don't think we can judge anyone for making the choices they did, because in the end, it's the right thing for both the families and for all the children out there. It can be argued that you don't have a choice when giving birth, but really, you don't know what might come up with an adoptd child in the future, either. My sister lost her hearing over time, and it wasn't diagnosed until she was 3. Not to mention the fact that anyone adopting any child of another race from another country with a different culture -- who has spent time in an orphange -- is already taking on some special issues.
See what kind of deep thinking you guys make me do! :) These were great questions! Please keep them coming!!
Well, Keith returned from Vietnam feeling optimistic. Things are progressing, and he does not feel that there is a need to extend the wait times. So, we are still looking at 12-18 months (I am banking on 18 months). Yahoo! Also, we received an email from Rachel, the Senior Coordinator of the Vietnam Program, and she said that they have begun to receive paperwork on children from three of the four provinces. Because of the rules in Vietnam governing the process to identify a child as an orphan, there most likely won't be any referrals until August. An ad must run in Vietnamese newspapers for 60 days identifying the child in case a relative decides to step forward and claim him. I'm a bit fuzzy on what the entire process is for the child to be classified an orphan and what the child's paperwork involves, so I think that is a good place for me to do some research and report back later. :)
Anyway, the mood is much lighter now that we know referrals will be starting again.
Now, to answer some questions I received:
Is the wait time different for a boy or a girl? Yes, it is. The wait time for boys is shorter (by about three months, I think). For some reason, people want to adopt more girls than boys. This is true everywhere, not just Vietnam. I'm not sure why, and I think it would be a very interesting thing for a sociologist to study. I know some reasons people want girls... we do because we already have two boys. Some other people have said that they have a girl and want her to have a sister, or that they are single women and would just feel more comfortable and familiar with raising a girl. This is an issue that I struggle with. I LOVE raising my boys -- they are so much fun! And knowing that it's harder to place boys makes me feel for them. I flip flop on it, but John and I have discussed it, and he really wants a little girl. Truthfully, so do I. My daydream wish would be for us to receive a set of siblings, boy and girl. But the odds aren't in our favor for that. A lot of other people have the same dream.
Are there more girls coming out of Vietnam? This is an interesting question. Vietnam is not like China. There is no limit on how many children a family can have. That is a big contributor to why a majority of children adopted from China are girls. In that culture (and in many other Asian cultures), the oldest son is the one who takes care of his parents as they grow older. So, if you can only have one child, it's "better" to have a son so that there is someone to take care of you. I think that many boys who are available for adoption in China are adopted by Chinese families for this reason, also. But back to Vietnam. I believe that there is probably an equal number of boys and girls being classified as orphans, but there may be more girls coming to the U.S. because more people want a girl.
Are there different wait times based on the age of the child (infant, toddler, older child) or disabilities? Yes. The younger the healthy child, the longer the wait. That is one of the reasons Angelina Jolie was able to adopt her son so quickly -- he was 4 years old. There aren't very many people looking for an older child. (I won't conjecture on other reasons she was able to adopt so quickly...) Also, children with disabilities have a much shorter wait time, as they are harder to place. In fact, there are Wait Lists with disabled children who are ready to be adopted now. John and I based the age we requested on the ages of our sons. We feel it is important to keep the birth order, so we are requesting a child/children who would be younger than Ethan (our youngest) would be at the time of the adoption. We are also basing our request for a healthy child on our sons. If we didn't already have children, we might consider some disabilities, but we have to take into account how that will affect our other kids. My sister is deaf, and while our family made a point of treating her the same as the rest of us, there were still the extra hospital visits, speech therapy, time dealing with schools and special education programs... Of course I wouldn't trade my sister for anything in the world, and I don't at all resent the extra things she needed, but it does affect the family. Also, I personally consider deafness an issue that would be much easier to handle than a severely crippled child or one with serious mental disabilities. I would be more open to adopting a deaf child, but I have to respect the fact that John isn't as comfortable with it. He didn't grow up with it as an everyday thing.
So that leads to my viewpoint on these issues. It's easy to say that people are being selfish for choosing healthy baby girls over children who are waiting for homes now. It's not so easy to actually take a waiting child into your home and raise him. Each family makes the decision based on what is right for that family at that time. There are a lot of different factors that go into making the decision -- factors that others may not even think of. It isn't a flippant thing. Our hearts cry out for every child who needs a loving home, but we have taken a long hard look at our lives, and we know what our family can handle and what it isn't ready for. In the end, I don't think it would be right for a child to be placed in a home that isn't prepared to deal with his issues, and may not be able to handle them. That's why children and families are "matched" in adoption rather than randomly coming together. I don't think we can judge anyone for making the choices they did, because in the end, it's the right thing for both the families and for all the children out there. It can be argued that you don't have a choice when giving birth, but really, you don't know what might come up with an adoptd child in the future, either. My sister lost her hearing over time, and it wasn't diagnosed until she was 3. Not to mention the fact that anyone adopting any child of another race from another country with a different culture -- who has spent time in an orphange -- is already taking on some special issues.
See what kind of deep thinking you guys make me do! :) These were great questions! Please keep them coming!!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
We're DTV
Finally! We're DTV (Dossier to Vietnam)! Now it will be translated by FTIA's in-country staff, and then they will send it on to the government officials in the International Adoption Department (IAD). There it will wait to be matched with paperwork on the child identified for us.
FTIA's director, Keith, is in Vietnam right now to see how things are progressing with the two new provinces. A lot of families are getting anxious because the wait times have been extended twice in the last year, and unless something drastic happens, they will likely be extended again soon. Keith will return some time in June and said that he will have news for us and will have some "specific recommendations" for FTIA families. We're very interested to see what he has to say. I imagine that it will be giving us a few choices: wait out the long wait times, consider switching countries, or consider switching agencies. A few families have already switched agencies hoping to shorten the wait.
See, the way it works in Vietnam is different than in China. In China all international adoption dossiers are sent to one central agency, the CCAA, and the paperwork on all children available for international adoption also goes to this agency. That central agency then matches children and prospective parents and makes the referal. In Vietnam, each placement agency (like FTIA) has agreements with individual provinces and supports a specific orphanage in that province. All the referals for that agency come from the orphanges they support. So, an agency supporting an orphange in a large city would theoretically have more referals than one supporting an orphange in a rural province with a much smaller population, and therefore, potentially shorter wait times.
It'll be interesting to see what Keith has to say, and to see what the response to it is. For now, we are planning to stay with FTIA and the Vietnam program. We very much appreciate FTIA's emphasis on having an ethical adoption process, and everyone there has been so helpful and supportive. What is meant to happen will happen, and if that means waiting years for our next child, so be it. I want to look her in the eye when she's a young adult and be able to tell her with confidence that her adoption was completely ethical and honest.
Now that we are in the waiting stage, I plan to post some educational-type stuff on here. Info about Vietnam as well as info on adoption in general. Hopefully you'll find it interesting and it will help us all feel more prepared for the adventure ahead. I know that the more I read about it, the more comfortable I feel. If there is anything specific you're curious about, please feel free to ask me! If I don't know the answer, I'll find out and we'll both learn something new. :)
FTIA's director, Keith, is in Vietnam right now to see how things are progressing with the two new provinces. A lot of families are getting anxious because the wait times have been extended twice in the last year, and unless something drastic happens, they will likely be extended again soon. Keith will return some time in June and said that he will have news for us and will have some "specific recommendations" for FTIA families. We're very interested to see what he has to say. I imagine that it will be giving us a few choices: wait out the long wait times, consider switching countries, or consider switching agencies. A few families have already switched agencies hoping to shorten the wait.
See, the way it works in Vietnam is different than in China. In China all international adoption dossiers are sent to one central agency, the CCAA, and the paperwork on all children available for international adoption also goes to this agency. That central agency then matches children and prospective parents and makes the referal. In Vietnam, each placement agency (like FTIA) has agreements with individual provinces and supports a specific orphanage in that province. All the referals for that agency come from the orphanges they support. So, an agency supporting an orphange in a large city would theoretically have more referals than one supporting an orphange in a rural province with a much smaller population, and therefore, potentially shorter wait times.
It'll be interesting to see what Keith has to say, and to see what the response to it is. For now, we are planning to stay with FTIA and the Vietnam program. We very much appreciate FTIA's emphasis on having an ethical adoption process, and everyone there has been so helpful and supportive. What is meant to happen will happen, and if that means waiting years for our next child, so be it. I want to look her in the eye when she's a young adult and be able to tell her with confidence that her adoption was completely ethical and honest.
Now that we are in the waiting stage, I plan to post some educational-type stuff on here. Info about Vietnam as well as info on adoption in general. Hopefully you'll find it interesting and it will help us all feel more prepared for the adventure ahead. I know that the more I read about it, the more comfortable I feel. If there is anything specific you're curious about, please feel free to ask me! If I don't know the answer, I'll find out and we'll both learn something new. :)
Monday, May 14, 2007
It Passed Inspection!
The new and improved I-171H arrived at our door Saturday. We had planned to go to the public library that day to *finally* get our library cards, so I took the paperwork there to copy it. And of course I checked out three books on adoption before we left. Jack was so excited he wouldn't let go of his library card for hours!
Then it was off to the post office where I personally handed over the Priority Envelope at the counter rather than leave it in a box outside. Are we overly cautious now? Heck yeah!
This evening I got an email from Kathy at FTIA saying that our I-171H was received today, reviewed, and was perfect! Our dossier is now being sent on to Vietnam. Rachel, the head Vietnam coordinator at FTIA, also emailed me and said that our dossier would be sent to Vietnam in the next batch to go out, which will be Monday May 21.
We are so excited to be done with the paper chase! Now we're what they call Paper Pregnant. :)
Just wanted to pass on the latest.
Then it was off to the post office where I personally handed over the Priority Envelope at the counter rather than leave it in a box outside. Are we overly cautious now? Heck yeah!
This evening I got an email from Kathy at FTIA saying that our I-171H was received today, reviewed, and was perfect! Our dossier is now being sent on to Vietnam. Rachel, the head Vietnam coordinator at FTIA, also emailed me and said that our dossier would be sent to Vietnam in the next batch to go out, which will be Monday May 21.
We are so excited to be done with the paper chase! Now we're what they call Paper Pregnant. :)
Just wanted to pass on the latest.
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