We're Baaaaaaack!

Hello, hello! It's been awhile, eh? So, so much has happened.

I will begin with why I have been MIA for so long. I'm a fairly practical person, and I tend to accept change well, but this whole close down suddenly hit me much harder than I expected it to. I was feeling nothing good; it was pretty much down to bitterness, resentment, jealousy, and/or self-pity, with the intermittent relief of numbness. Not really the kind of stuff you want to admit to people, or subject them to in post after post of ranting. I knew things were really bad when I would read about others getting their referrals and feel anger instead of happiness for them. I'm usually good at separating my situation from others, and really, I WAS happy for them deep down, but I was bitter, too. That was tough to acknowledge. It was just such a stressful time with rumors flying all over the place, hope one minute and despair the next, and no timeline for getting any answers to the million and a half questions we all had. Therefore, I had no answers to share here, no timeline to offer for when I would have answers, and no positive thoughts to sustain us in our collective wait.

BUT, here we are, post-September-1st, and I have a few tentative answers, along with some new (to some of you) news to share.

VIETNAM

Here's what we know: it's closed to U.S. adoptions. This is the one solid fact there is. However, there are signs that all is not lost:

1) The Vietnamese have named a high-level government official to negotiate a new MOA, and have formally requested that the DoS begin negotiations with them. This is a very good sign, as last time they closed it was for two years, due in large part (according to our agency) to no-one feeling any urgency to start working toward a new agreement. At least they are being more proactive in getting things rolling this time around.

2) The IAD in Vietnam has agreed to keep the dossiers that are already logged-in. They will not be returned to the agencies, meaning the IAD should honor them when Vietnam opens back up.

Based on these two signs, we have decided to renew our I600-A for Vietnam (which is due to expire next month) in hopes that a new MOA will be reached well before the next expiration 18 months from now. Then we'll just let that all simmer on a back burner.

SO WHAT, YOU MAY ASK, IS ON THE FRONT BURNER?

Ethiopia.

Last spring I heard that our agency might be willing to let families in their Vietnam and Guatamala programs start a concurrent adoption in another country due to the uncertainties in both of these programs. We were placed on the waiting list for their Ethiopia pilot program which they hoped to start within the next few weeks. We waited (fairly impatiently) for word that the program was a go and we should start our paperwork. No word came. Finally, when word did come, it was that they did not feel we would be good candidates for a pilot program in a new country because we do not have a squeaky-clean background (damn genetics and irresponsible young adulthood!).

Feeling disappointed, but understanding the agency's perspective (they want to build up a relationship with a new country before they can advocate for less than perfect families), I decided to look around. I found several agencies with established programs who had no problem accepting us as clients. It took awhile to get permission from our first agency to start working with a second one, but after establishing conditions (for example, there must be at least 6 months between bringing children home), we were free to begin. After researching many of them, we had it narrowed down to two. One of John's co-workers had recently received a referral from one of them, and shared with us her experience. The decision was made. On July 3, as we left town to go visit my family and celebrate my mom's retirement, we dropped our application in the mailbox.

Things with Ethiopia and our new agency are much different -- before, when our application was accepted we started right in on our dossier for Vietnam. This agency accepts your application, then requires letters of reference be sent in, after which they conduct a phone interview, and THEN they send you information on starting your dossier. For two impatient people starting over after more than a year and a half, this seemed like a very long wait just to get started again! But, it all happened, and we are now in the process of putting together our dossier for Ethiopia! It is a lot of work, but overall, a MUCH easier dossier than Vietnam! Most documents just need to be notarized (no need for state certification and then embassy authentication? Whoohoo!!). It's still frustrating to have so many things outside of our control, but this time I know MUCH better what I'm doing and the requirements are less rigid, so things are going much smoother.

Last month we went to John's co-worker's house to meet their family. They had just brought their son home from Ethiopia! I tell ya, there is absolutely no possible way that kid could be any cuter! How quickly you forget what's it's like to feed a baby, and how LIGHT they are! When I picked up that 9-month-old body I almost threw him over my shoulder (ok, maybe not, but I certainly hefted him more than was necessary!). Oh, John and I are both in love. :) Oh, yeah, and his parents are pretty darn cool, too. ;)

So, that's the basic overview of things as they stand now. My goal is to get back into the swing of blogging, so watch your inboxes for future installments. (If you aren't already subscribed to email, you can do so on the right).