Name that tune! :)
Today was some day. I went to the dentist because my jaw hurts so bad when I chew that I've been living on SlimFast, broth, and peanut butter on a spoon for two days. Anyone surprised that the cause is that I've been clenching my teeth for the last couple months? (It's not just the adoption stuff -- there's some other drama going on with people very close to me.) But the good news is that now that I know what's going on, I can stay conscious of it and stop doing it, and do some things to heal it. And, I found a great new dentist. :)
Even better news... when I got home our home study was in the mailbox! Whoohoo!!! So tomorrow that will be mailed to USCIS with supporting documents. It took about a week to get our Vietnam approval once the correct documents were sent, so if everything goes smoothly we'll have our USCIS approval for Ethiopia late next week. Then we take a huge stack of documents to be notarized (there is a notary at John's work that has been super nice about helping us out with this). THEN, two documents get sent to the Secretary of State to be State Certified, which should only take a week, and then we can send in our dossier!!!
On the Vietnam front -- the negotiations have been postponed. No word on a new date for talks to begin. Thank God we decided six months ago to pursue a concurrent adoption in Ethiopia! It's taken me that six months to let go of Vietnam. Not that I don't still get waves of emotion when I read new information about what's going on with it, but the waves are much quicker and shallower than they used to be. I really don't think Vietnam will open back up for at least a year, and really, that would probably be best for us. We'll have time to complete our Ethiopia adoption and then figure out what we want to do from there. It feels good to NOT feel much when Vietnam comes up.
So I've been reading There Is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene. It's the story of an Ethiopian woman who agrees to take in an orphaned teenage girl, and suddenly becomes flooded with orphaned children needing a home. The story of how her life evolves is interspersed with factual information about Ethiopian culture, the HIV/AIDS epidemic, and international adoption from the sending country's side. I'm about 2/3 through it, and it's a well-written book that keeps your attention. I'm one of those people who reads at bedtime, and it's been awhile since I've found a book that I wanted to pick back up during the day. I can easily recommend this book! Check it out: http://www.amazon.com/There-No-Me-Without-You/dp/1596912936/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225348231&sr=8-1
One last thing: a shameless plug for my new online shop. I promise not to break out a bright blue sequined gown with giant letters spelling out the web address a la Macy Grey (anyone remember that?), but here it is in plain old black and white:
www.terrapincreek.etsy.com
I'll be adding new items throughout the holiday season, so check it out every so often for handmade jewelry and gifts! :)
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
I Shoulda Known
ETHIOPIA
Well, here I was getting excited because I have everything ready to go, just waiting on the home study to send in our USCIS I-600A application. I checked in 10 days ago with the social worker who said it was sent to the placement agency on October 2nd for review, so I called the placement agency and the woman there said she had just emailed it back to our social worker. Whoohoo! I figured we'd have our home study this week and be on our way to finishing up the dossier. HA! Silly, silly me.
No home study has arrived, so I emailed the social worker asking how it was coming. I got an email back saying it was at the placement agency for review. Um, no.... So I replied saying I'd talked to them October 8 and they had emailed it back. I get another email from the director of the home study agency saying they didn't get anything. So I call the placement agency, and wouldn't you know, NEITHER of the two people who review home studies work on Fridays. Wouldn't you think if you had two people for a job you'd stagger their schedules to cover your hours of operation? Wouldn't you think that if you'd sent someone a home study for review and hadn't gotten it back over two weeks later you'd check in to see what the hold up was? Here I am, not wanting to be a pain in the arse by hounding them about it, and now we've lost ten days.
Ok, so in the grand scheme of things, what's 10 days? I mean, that's nothing, right? Well, when you've crossed the two year mark of trying to adopt and find yourself not even on a waiting list anymore and having to start over, 10 days feels like an eternity. Over-reaction? Probably. Do I care? Not particularly. Not right now. GRRRRRRR!
VIETNAM
Icing on the cake -- we just found out that the U.S. Embassy has told the IAD that they must return all dossiers that didn't get referrals to the adoption service providers (placement agencies). Gee, thanks again, U.S. government! Now odds are we will have to redo the whole dossier to resubmit it IF a new MOA is ever put in place. Our agency is keeping the dossiers in their offices in Hanoi so that IF the IAD will accept them back they will be resubmitted as soon as possible.
This comes after more weird drama in the jinxed process for us. I sent in all the paperwork to renew our I-600A which expired today (if you renew before expiration it's free -- if you miss the deadline it's over $800 in fees!). Last week I get a notice that one of the documents didn't have the required information. So I call the place that issues the document and overnighted a request for the correct info. I get a phone call from a cranky lady asking why she has to redo it when she knows she sent the right stuff the first time. I appologize for the inconvenience, say I don't know where the info is if it was sent, and beg her to resend it. Fine, she relents, she'll put it in the mail that afternoon (Wednesday). Meanwhile I start looking around and discover what she was talking about. I was suppose to have three certified copies, but she sent three certified cover letters and only one print out of the relevent info, not attched to the cover letters, so I thought it was a receipt. I throw it all in a Priority Mail envelope and mail it to Manchester on Thursday (Manchester is two towns away, so even first class gets there next day, but I use Priority so I can track it). Friday night John comes in saying we got something that looks important in the mail. I'm thinking it's the new documents, but no -- not only do I not have the docs that she said she was mailing Wednesday in the Express Mail envelope I provided, but it's the PRIORITY MAIL I had sent out the day before! No note, no reason for return. I track the package, and online it says it's at the Manchester Postal unit. HUH??? So I call the 800 # where another cranky lady informs me she can't give me any info because the systems are down, and besides that, Priority Mail delivery times are ESTIMATES, not guarantees. In a moment of letting out the kind of comment I usually keep in my mind, I snap back, "No, but you don't ESTIMATE that your going to put it BACK in my mailbox the next day either!" Well, that was a productive conversation. Saturday morning I go to the post office and ask the woman behind the desk if she can tell me why it was returned (I was much, much nicer this time, I promise). Nope. No reason. She appologized and assured me she'd get it out right away. See, that's all I needed -- a simple "I'm sorry this happened." Why is that so hard for some people? Is it because they are on the phone and don't have to look you in the eye, so the human connection is lost?
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, still no new documents. And Monday was a holiday, so no government offices open or mail delivery. Finally, Tuesday, I call the place back and ask if she mailed the docs on Wednesday since I didn't have them and online it had no information that it had even been checked into the system. Cranky Lady, with an extra dose of snippiness, informs me she mailed it Friday. Or maybe Thursday. But probably Friday. "And I sent it in the envelope that YOU provided!" I simply thanked her and got off the phone before her negative energy could cross the phone lines and permanently implant itself into my brain. Because God knows I'm not producing enough negative energy on my own! Thank goodness I found the first print out, or we'd have been SOL. Tuesday night I track the package, and online I am informed that it was MISDIRECTED, but that the error was being corrected and it would be delivered as soon as possible, though no estimate as to when that might be. Fabulous! Luckily it finally showed up on Wednesday. This time there was no cover letter, just print outs, but this time she certified the print out. So I threw one in an envelope and mailed it to USCIS because with our luck, they would look at the first one and say that having the cover letter certified (but not the print out) wasn't good enough. Better safe than sorry.
[insert deep breath here]
Soooo, now we are waiting for our Vietnam renewal approval from USCIS, and waiting for our missing home study for Ethiopia. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Some days that's the four-letter-word of adoption! So much waiting!!!
On what I would normally consider a hopeful note were I not feeling so surly and cynical, the U.S. and Vietnam are set to begin negotiations by the end of the month. Keep your fingers crossed that they decide to negotiate an interim MOA and don't decide to just hold off until Vietnam joins the Hague Convention, which they are working towards, but will take years. (For comparison, it took the U.S. 10 years to become compliant and join the Hague!)
P.S. I'll try for something peppier in my next post. :)
Well, here I was getting excited because I have everything ready to go, just waiting on the home study to send in our USCIS I-600A application. I checked in 10 days ago with the social worker who said it was sent to the placement agency on October 2nd for review, so I called the placement agency and the woman there said she had just emailed it back to our social worker. Whoohoo! I figured we'd have our home study this week and be on our way to finishing up the dossier. HA! Silly, silly me.
No home study has arrived, so I emailed the social worker asking how it was coming. I got an email back saying it was at the placement agency for review. Um, no.... So I replied saying I'd talked to them October 8 and they had emailed it back. I get another email from the director of the home study agency saying they didn't get anything. So I call the placement agency, and wouldn't you know, NEITHER of the two people who review home studies work on Fridays. Wouldn't you think if you had two people for a job you'd stagger their schedules to cover your hours of operation? Wouldn't you think that if you'd sent someone a home study for review and hadn't gotten it back over two weeks later you'd check in to see what the hold up was? Here I am, not wanting to be a pain in the arse by hounding them about it, and now we've lost ten days.
Ok, so in the grand scheme of things, what's 10 days? I mean, that's nothing, right? Well, when you've crossed the two year mark of trying to adopt and find yourself not even on a waiting list anymore and having to start over, 10 days feels like an eternity. Over-reaction? Probably. Do I care? Not particularly. Not right now. GRRRRRRR!
VIETNAM
Icing on the cake -- we just found out that the U.S. Embassy has told the IAD that they must return all dossiers that didn't get referrals to the adoption service providers (placement agencies). Gee, thanks again, U.S. government! Now odds are we will have to redo the whole dossier to resubmit it IF a new MOA is ever put in place. Our agency is keeping the dossiers in their offices in Hanoi so that IF the IAD will accept them back they will be resubmitted as soon as possible.
This comes after more weird drama in the jinxed process for us. I sent in all the paperwork to renew our I-600A which expired today (if you renew before expiration it's free -- if you miss the deadline it's over $800 in fees!). Last week I get a notice that one of the documents didn't have the required information. So I call the place that issues the document and overnighted a request for the correct info. I get a phone call from a cranky lady asking why she has to redo it when she knows she sent the right stuff the first time. I appologize for the inconvenience, say I don't know where the info is if it was sent, and beg her to resend it. Fine, she relents, she'll put it in the mail that afternoon (Wednesday). Meanwhile I start looking around and discover what she was talking about. I was suppose to have three certified copies, but she sent three certified cover letters and only one print out of the relevent info, not attched to the cover letters, so I thought it was a receipt. I throw it all in a Priority Mail envelope and mail it to Manchester on Thursday (Manchester is two towns away, so even first class gets there next day, but I use Priority so I can track it). Friday night John comes in saying we got something that looks important in the mail. I'm thinking it's the new documents, but no -- not only do I not have the docs that she said she was mailing Wednesday in the Express Mail envelope I provided, but it's the PRIORITY MAIL I had sent out the day before! No note, no reason for return. I track the package, and online it says it's at the Manchester Postal unit. HUH??? So I call the 800 # where another cranky lady informs me she can't give me any info because the systems are down, and besides that, Priority Mail delivery times are ESTIMATES, not guarantees. In a moment of letting out the kind of comment I usually keep in my mind, I snap back, "No, but you don't ESTIMATE that your going to put it BACK in my mailbox the next day either!" Well, that was a productive conversation. Saturday morning I go to the post office and ask the woman behind the desk if she can tell me why it was returned (I was much, much nicer this time, I promise). Nope. No reason. She appologized and assured me she'd get it out right away. See, that's all I needed -- a simple "I'm sorry this happened." Why is that so hard for some people? Is it because they are on the phone and don't have to look you in the eye, so the human connection is lost?
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, still no new documents. And Monday was a holiday, so no government offices open or mail delivery. Finally, Tuesday, I call the place back and ask if she mailed the docs on Wednesday since I didn't have them and online it had no information that it had even been checked into the system. Cranky Lady, with an extra dose of snippiness, informs me she mailed it Friday. Or maybe Thursday. But probably Friday. "And I sent it in the envelope that YOU provided!" I simply thanked her and got off the phone before her negative energy could cross the phone lines and permanently implant itself into my brain. Because God knows I'm not producing enough negative energy on my own! Thank goodness I found the first print out, or we'd have been SOL. Tuesday night I track the package, and online I am informed that it was MISDIRECTED, but that the error was being corrected and it would be delivered as soon as possible, though no estimate as to when that might be. Fabulous! Luckily it finally showed up on Wednesday. This time there was no cover letter, just print outs, but this time she certified the print out. So I threw one in an envelope and mailed it to USCIS because with our luck, they would look at the first one and say that having the cover letter certified (but not the print out) wasn't good enough. Better safe than sorry.
[insert deep breath here]
Soooo, now we are waiting for our Vietnam renewal approval from USCIS, and waiting for our missing home study for Ethiopia. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Some days that's the four-letter-word of adoption! So much waiting!!!
On what I would normally consider a hopeful note were I not feeling so surly and cynical, the U.S. and Vietnam are set to begin negotiations by the end of the month. Keep your fingers crossed that they decide to negotiate an interim MOA and don't decide to just hold off until Vietnam joins the Hague Convention, which they are working towards, but will take years. (For comparison, it took the U.S. 10 years to become compliant and join the Hague!)
P.S. I'll try for something peppier in my next post. :)
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