Hi All,
Two days after my last post, on Wednesday April 18, I headed to Northern Michigan to be with my best friend when her baby was born. At about 1 a.m. Saturday morning, John called to say he'd just returned from poker night and found our I-171H in the mailbox! A whole week ahead of what we'd been told to expect. Yahoo! The following Monday at just after 8 a.m. I was holding my friend's hand when her son was delivered via c-section. I am so honored that she shared this experience with me, and am still awed by it all. Her husband, who is in Iraq, called just after the baby was born and they brought the phone to the OR so she could talk to him. It all still brings tears to my eyes. Yeah, I'm pretty sappy. :) Congrats, Robin and Mike! You two make some darn cute little ones! :)
My younger sister also unexpectedly came to our home town, so I was able to see my new little neice, Abby Jo, for the first time. She was just a month old. And awfully cute herself! I forgot how very tiny they start out! Plus, another good friend had her first child, a little boy. So congrats to Sara and Keven and Ann and Garrison, also! What is it they say about important things happening in threes?
On Wednesday April 25 Jack, Ethan, and I headed home. Jack got mad the two times I stopped (once for a drive through lunch and once to change the boys). "No! Go Daddy's house!" he kept saying. It sure was nice to see John again after a week away. We all missed him tons! Of course, the next few days Jack couldn't stop talking about Grandma K and Aunt Deb and Aunt Sara and all his cousins.
We planned to get our I-171H notarized Saturday morning and then drive into Chicago all together to get it state certified. Unfortunately, I must have been thinking about the USCIS fingerprinting place, because the Secretary of State isn't open on Saturdays! Luckily I looked it up Friday night and discovered this. So, Jack and Ethan and I were back in the car on Monday for a trip into the city. The boys were very good, even when I took them into a 3-story Old Navy to pick up some sandals and PJ's for them (and one or two things for Mommy). Then we went into Marshall Field's (sorry... Macy's) for lunch. While we were eating Jack started jerking and blinking and acting funny. It freaked me out for a minute until I figured out he was dancing to the jazz music playing on the PA system. I've never seen him move like that, but it actually totally fit with the music. Ethan spent most of the time gnawing on chicken and french fries and cracking himself up playing peek-a-boo with me. It was a fun little trip for the day. We returned to Crystal Lake in time to Express Mail the I-171H to the consulate in San Francisco.
Friday morning the I-171H was back. I rushed downstairs to scan it in, print copies, and create on-line postage to mail it out to FTIA. Late Monday May 7 we received the news that FTIA had our complete dossier, and we were officially on the waiting list! Yippee!!!!
Then on Tuesday Kathy reluctantly informed me that the Secretary of State had misspelled the notary's name, and we would have to redo the whole thing.
Of course they did. Of course we would.
I gave myself a few minutes to be sad, mad, and feel sorry for myself, then I pulled myself together and made a plan of attack. I printed out the new copies of everything and a new cover letter to the consulate. The next morning when John woke me up as he was leaving for work, I let him know what happened. Luckily, he didn't have any meetings that morning, and there is a branch of our bank in the lobby of his work building, so the boys and I went to visit Daddy at work to get the new I-171H notarized. We got there at lunch time, so we stayed and had lunch with him and some co-workers. The boys were such hams -- just eating up all the attention. They were so excited that they both fell asleep within 5 minutes of getting back on the road. Into Chicago we went. This time I double checked the spelling before I left the SoS office.
Zoom back home -- well, as much zooming as you can do on a Chicago freeway, which isn't much. We went straight to the post office and mailed it all out to the consulate again. I learned that postage goes up on Monday, so I had them put the new amount on the retun envelope just in case. With our luck, it wouldn't be returned until next week and we'd have it floating around in the ether with too little postage on it.
So that is where we are now. Waiting for the new I-171H to come back. Kathy assured me that we are still on the waiting list as of May 7, so that is great news!
We've had a few people say that "it could be any day now" that we get a call with a referal. As much as we'd love for that to be true, it just isn't going to happen. There are about 70 families ahead of us in line at FTIA's Vietnam program. They have only brought home 4 children so far this year. They are working on agreements with more provinces/orphanges, so they hope that the number of referals will increase in the next few months, but realistically, we are way down the list and I believe it will be *at least* 18 months before we get a referal, if not longer. We're ok with this. Of course, there are moments when we want it to happen NOW NOW NOW!, but honestly, we planned on it taking about two years from start to finish when we discussed adopting, so an 18 month wait is right on track for that.
I also wanted to add a note for those people who are reading this because they are going through an adption or considering adoption themselves. I honestly didn't think anyone except our family and friends were reading this, but apparently more people have found our humble little blog. :) I would love to hear from anyone else going through this journey! Drop me an email or leave me a comment. I do want to say that most people do not have the amount of problems that we have had. The vast majority of social workers are fantastic, and though I think everyone has to redo some documents, I don't think it's quite the amount that we have. I just don't want anyone to be scared off by reading our story. For one thing, we have histories that make our case more complicated, and I think that has led to a lot of our issues. And even though we've had these hurdles, we ARE getting through the process. Our adoption WILL happen.
To me, adopting is like a calling. It is something I know I am meant to do. It is how I am meant to continue my family. I think that the road to adoption is full of hurdles and tests, but each one just shows you how much you believe in what you are doing. Each time you face a problem and move through it, it strengthens you. One thing for sure, you REALLY have to want to adopt to make it through the paper chase. I think that if I were a birth mother, I'd want to know that the person/people adopting my child were thoroughly committed to the adoption. Yes, it was easier for us to have our birth children. Nowhere near the amount of paperwork or bureaucracy involved (or the longer wait). But not only do I believe that my daughter is meant to come to me through someone else, I also believe that there are people I don't even know who are trusting me to give her the best life I can and to love her completely. Because of this, I think it's good to make sure that we are 100% committed to this adoption. And going through all of this has made it clear to us that we are.
Ok, enough philosophy for now. :)
WE'RE ON THE WAITING LIST! HOORAY!!!!
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